The word and means of grace do work good, if they make you more sensible of your hardness and deadness. Though perhaps they don’t work that good, and in that manner you desire; yet if they make you to see your baseness, your hardness of heart, and dullness of spirit, in regard to that body of death which hangs upon you, then they and the word work in the best manner, because it is in God’s manner, even if not in yours. That medicine works most kindly, that makes the party sick before it works; so it is with the word. Before, you had a proud heart, and therefore lifted yourself up in your own abilities, and trusted in your own strength; and you thought that your care and the improvement of the means would work wonders. But now, the word works sweetly when it makes you apprehend that a wounded soul is the gift of God, not man, nor of the means of man; it works when it makes you look up to God for it, and to prize it when you have it; and to wait upon God with your daily prayers, still to continue so. To feel deadness is life; and to feel hardness is softness. Only remember this one caution: unless there is some lust or distemper that your heart hankers after (for then the word will harden you, because you harden yourself), that one excepted, I say, you are in a good way.
Mark this, I beseech you: you are the cause why your heart is not softened, and why the word does not work upon your soul. The distemper of your own heart hinders the working of the word, and the dispensation of God’s providence, and the tenor of the covenant of grace. You think to limit the holy one of Israel; but that may not be. For, his covenant is a covenant of grace; and the Lord who is free will not stand bent to your bow, or give you grace when you will it. For, it is not for us to know the times and seasons. What if the Lord will not give you grace this year, nor the next, nor all your life? If at the last gasp he drops in a little of his favor, it is more than he owes you. Therefore hear today, and await tomorrow, and continue doing so, because you don’t know when God may bless his own ordinances. Don’t complain of delays, but wait — for God has waited for you long. And therefore if he makes you wait for peace of conscience, and assurance of his love, he deals but equally with you, and as will be best with you. God gives what, and when, and how he will; therefore wait for it.
Thomas Hooker. THE POOR DOUBTING CHRISTIAN DRAWN TO CHRIST.
